lunes, febrero 07, 2005


How To Drive Me Crazy In 9 Easy Steps

(A Parent's Guide)

1. Be highly spastic about your 6-yr-old's education, despite the fact that he is one of my most polite, consistently well-behaved, considerate, helpful (although occasionally to the point that it's annoying, much like YOU) and smartest students.

2. Be jobless. Have nothing better to do than to hang out at my elementary school all fucking day long.

3. Make sure you run into me as often as possible during the school day. If you see us go to the library, follow us. If your child has forgotten an article of clothing or a bottle of water, bring it after the school day has started (an additional visit because you already walk him in to the classroom, not just to it). And if for any reason you have to go home or leave campus, call me during our learning time to interrupt me with something extraordinarily inane, like asking me if your child is still coughing off and on.

4. Get suddenly chummy with my student mentor from the local university. Keep her from helping with my class because she's stuck in an endless conversation with you.

5. When you ask me a question, do not allow me to answer before you begin your rebuttal. Do not even allow me to respond with more than a full sentence before interrupting me. If I say anything about doing things for the benefit of the entire class, either dismiss the other students by saying you are only concerned about your child, or bad-mouth other students in their (and their peers') presence.

6. After bitching at me, proceed to the vice principal and complain to him. When he asks if you have directly addressed your child's teacher, tell him you have, and you did not like what you heard. Then call my classroom to bitch at me some more, even though we've already discussed how you can't bother me during the day in person nor via telephone.

7. When I ask you to meet with me at a more appropriate time (such as when students are not supposed to be learning), tell me it will just take a few minutes and that it's very important. When I insist that I cannot talk during school hours apart from planning time, bitch away as if I haven't said a word. And if I begin to explain or defend myself, bitch a bit more, then walk away.

8. Do all of the above on a daily basis.

9. Be sick for a week just to give me a taste of what it's like to not deal with this bullshit on a daily basis, then come back in full force. Better yet, come back raring to go and declare "I'm gone for two days and all this* happens?", because you are in fact the center of the universe.

*"this" refers to the theft issues, which have become small potatoes compared to the high-maintenance mom bullshit.

is this from just one mom? maybe you should talk with your vice principal. i dunno. i have the opposite problem, aka, "oh, well his mom aint home and he's not my son so i'll tell her to call you."

Ha! You and I just basically griped about the same subject today! Madhatter just sent me over here to read yours. Love it. You forgot, "If you happen to run into me outside of school property, strike up a conference with me about your child, right there in the grocery store aisle. I have plenty of free time for you." Check out my fourth grade version.
Publicar un comentario

<< Home

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?