You can converse in middle school ease.
Your last nerve is a distant memory...
Every day is a bad hair day.
You find humor in public parental discipline.
You worry about getting sued for self-esteem violations.
You believe the staff room should be equipped with Valium salt licks.
You stand on your front porch instructing the neighbor children to "Walk!"
Junior Highers make you feel old but you could not be paid to be that age again...
You want to slap the next person who says, "Must be nice to only work 8 - 3 and have your summers free."
You refer to adults as "boys and girls".
You encourage your husband by telling him he is a "good helper".
You believe chocolate is a major food group.
You can tell it's a full moon without ever looking outside.
You believe "extremely annoying" should have its own box on the report card.
You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says, "Boy, the kids are sure mellow today."
When you are out in public you snap your fingers at children who are misbehaving.
You give your husband "the look" when he "misbehaves."
You have no life from August through June.
Putting all A's on the report card would be so much easier.
You think people should be required to get a government permit before being allowed to reproduce, earned by having worked in a middle school for 5 years.
You've encouraged a parent to check into home schooling.
You can't have children of your own because there isn't a name you can hear that wouldn't elevate your blood pressure.
You believe in the aerial spraying of Prozac.
You think that caffeine should be available in IV form.
Meeting a child's parent instantly answers the question, "Why is this kid like that?"
: I also like the implicit assumption that "you might be in education" if you're married. I'll follow up on the stealing later, it's been pissing me off too much for me to acknowledge it at home.