lunes, junio 27, 2005


no te prometo amor eterno, porque no puedo

i haven't addressed relationships, love, and other things of that ilk since my eHarmony fiasco back in april. so let's make up for lost time.
  • The Rules: am i the last woman on earth to have heard about these? a friend brought this book over for lunch and i couldn't believe what i was reading. i had heard of He's Just Not That Into You (nice related article on salon) but i had no idea how popular it was. i've always scoffed at the mere thought of the self-help book section, but that can probably be attributed to my family's general disdain for any talk whatsoever about feelings. anyways, this book outlines everything from the questions (or lack thereof) that you should ask during a date to when you should have sex for the first time. an example:

    Rule #3: Don't Stare at Men or Talk Too Much

    Looking at someone first is a dead giveaway of interest. Let him look at you! If he doesn't notice you first, he's probably not interested. Keep walking, someone else will notice you.

    Did you know that there are workshops designed to teach women how to make eye contact with men they find attractive? Save your money. It is never necessary to make eye contact. What about letting men know you're receptive? We suggest simply smiling at the room (or the universe, if you will), and looking relaxed and approachable. That's how to acknowledge a man's attention, not by staring at him. Don't look anxiously around for "The One." That is certain to make anyone look the other way. There is nothing attractive about anxiety. ...

    i'm sure books like this are helpful to some people, but some of the rules get pretty ridiculous. the main premise, for chrissakes, is that man pursues woman, period. another example: you're not supposed to tell too much about yourself when you're still dating... only answer questions that he asks you, so you can stay mysterious. sounds kinda hokey and outdated to me, call me crazy!

  • Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind: I had been wanting to see this movie forever and ended up falling asleep about 1/3 of the way through. Those of you who have seen all of it: thoughts?

  • Some Quotes: I spent a lot of car time this weekend sketching and brainstorming for future art projects. there are several quotes that i adore and want to use, either directly or as inspiration:

  • "no te prometo amor eterno, porque no puedo" reyli, "desde que llegaste" (i don't promise you eternal love, because i can't)

  • "and you know that i love you... here and now, not forever... i can give you my present, i don't know about the future... that's all stuff and nonsense." split enz, "stuff and nonsense"

  • "tengo hambre de tu boca, de tu voz, de tu pelo" pablo neruda, "cien sonetos de amor" XI (i hunger for your mouth, your voice, your hair")

  • "aquí te amo." pablo neruda, "poema no. 18" ("here i love you)

  • "yo la quise, y a veces ella también me quiso.
    ella me quiso, a veces yo también la quería.
    ya no la quiero, es cierto, pero cuánto la quise.
    ya no la quiero, es cierto, pero tal vez la quiero."
    pablo neruda, "poema no. 20"
    ("i loved her, and sometimes she loved me, too.
    she loved me, and sometimes i loved her, too.
    i no longer love her, it's true, but how (much) i loved her.
    i no longer love her, it's true, but maybe i love her."

  • "No quiero ser la culpable de dañar tu corazón" aterciopelados, "la culpable" ("I don't want to be the one guilty of hurting your heart")

  • Lastly: why the love fixation when i've declared that i'm not interested in a serious relationship right now? because i've been rocking out to Erasure's greatest hits, namely "Victim of Love" and "Ship of Fools".

  • Comments:
    maybe love fixation is in the air these days... I was obsessing about it last week
    Girl, are you just now hearing about "The Rules"??? Wow, I actually feel "with it" now! Yea, that entire book is incomprehensible to me. I'd much rather be single than play games.

    I can't remember, did you end your eHarmony membership? A commercial for it came on TV the other day and my mom tried hinting that I should join. Oh dear lord. *rolls eyes*
    yup, i ended my eharmony membership after exactly 3 months. same variety of losers i would find out in the real world, so why pay money for it?

    as for my being clueless about the rules, i don't really know what to blame. a lot of my female friends have boyfriends? i don't have cable? i live in a bubble? or i ignore all silly fluff of that nature? quiensabe...
    Gosh, those rules sound horrible. If I followed those rules, I wouldn't be in the five year relationship I'm in now; I asked my boyfriend out first, and he later admitted he was too scared of rejection to have asked me out. Boys, go figure.

    Eternal Sunshine... excellent. One of my favorites.
    If you're in a bubble, then I want to jump in with you. I'm ashamed that I knew what "The Rules" was. I'm a bad feminist.
    The Rules suck. they've been around a while, i think. i follow this book called "Be Yourself." that way, if i'm single or with someone then i'm having a good time and not worried about whether i'm playing the game correctly. :)
    besides maestra, you're a great conversationalist and you'd be really boring if you waited for guys to introduce conversation.
    oh, and i think the reason you haven't heard about The Rules is because you're friends kick ass and don't introduce you to stuff like that. :)
    Don't listen to that mugrero, it does sound hokey to me too. I suggest you re-watch Eternal Sunshine of the Spot-Free Rinse because it's an incredible film. Perhaps you were just tired?
    The Rules? They needed to write them in a book? Hmmm, interesting. Sounds like a cult to me.
    Honostly though it sounds too structured to me. What ever happened to spontaneity. Just let things happen.

    "De otro. Sera de otro. Como antes de mis besos...
    Es tan corto el amor, y es tan largo el olvido."
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